


That Great, Wide Nothing

by czechia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Hurt / Comfort, Reylo - Freeform, they have a lot to work out and this apparently means talking about it as much as they can, which prompt was filled? Who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-19 01:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13693575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/czechia/pseuds/czechia
Summary: He might’ve been the Supreme Leader, but for all his posturing, she knew what lay beneath. She had felt his hesitancy in touching her hand, had seen the way he was immediately drawn to her; he was far too open a book to be able to deceive her. He could have ulterior motives, but after Snoke, after learning about Luke, after everything, they were too obvious, too understandable. The worst thing about it all, about his selfishness in wanting to be Supreme Leader, was that he deserved it. After being told what to be all his life, Rey couldn’t look at him and tell him that he hadn’t earned the mantle.





	That Great, Wide Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AstridMyrna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstridMyrna/gifts).



> Hello hello, this was a labor of love and I do hope that you love it, that everything that happens is interesting considering it's a rather long one-shot. These two kids always get up to nonsense and while I'm not used to writing them in-universe, it was a refreshing change of pace dealing with sabers and kyber crystals. In regard to that, please excuse any mistakes regarding lore and let me know what you think!

It had been a month since they were in one another’s company, in the same place in space that wasn’t facilitated by their force bond. The time leading up to their meeting was an assault on both of their senses. Although both had gained some control shut down the connection, that didn’t stop it from connecting them at inopportune moments. A week in and several awkward connections later, they both realized that the bond could be initiated by a variety of catylysts.

The first time, Rey found herself sobbing in her bunk because she just wanted him to be hers, for him to be able to find a different way to strike out. She’d realized what she’d set in motion once she was alone for that first night after rescuing the remnants of the Resistance. Sending herself to Ben, prompting him to confront his master, she’d left him no choice but to kill Snoke, after, how could she have imagined that he would join her? Rey had wanted him so badly, someone who knew how deep the loneliness ran, someone to hold. Finally alone – no, she was always alone – and able to sleep, she couldn’t help the tears from coming.

At first, Rey didn’t hear the creaking of the Falcon fade away, replaced by a separate, distinctly interstellar, hum. It took the sound of Ben? Kylo? speaking her name in order for her to realize that he’d materialized in the bedroom. She was glad that the rest of the Resistance had found shelter in the abandoned base Leia had directed her to; if someone had awoken to find Rey and the newest Supreme Leader, there’d be no way to explain it away.

After finally spotting the man who she’d begged to join her – every word of their conversation in the throne room echoed in her mind when she wasn’t fighting the memory – Rey froze. She’d had no idea of what to say, whether to be angry or glad that the Force had decided to connect them.  

There was a long, ugly pause as their eyes met.

Rey resisted the urge to curl into her bed and let him hold her, let him back in. She could feel the hungry demand of it hum in the air between them. It would be easy, for Rey to let herself fall into his arms, let him hold her like they both dreamed of. Instead, she tensed and looked away, blinking away the tears she’d been shedding. Then, he spoke.

“Rey-”

“No.” She looked up from her unshed tears and ignored his own. “We can’t- I- I can’t do this.”

They both pretended to ignore the way her voice shook.

Kylo? Ben? _He_ took a step closer. Rey stared past him when he simply stood there, saying nothing. She finally broke the silence, refusing to meet his gaze, refusing to let herself feel the weight of her own words.  

“I miss you.”

He tensed momentarily and she saw his expression, unclear as she stared at the wall behind him – soften more, somehow. It shouldn’t have been possible for her to move him like that. Rey could hardly believe it herself, that she could understand this man, this monster-

Ben’s voice cut through her thoughts, his needy tone needling her heart. “Don’t leave.”

She blinked and noticed that the hum of the Supremacy had been fading. As her gaze snapped back to him, the ship’s noises returned.

Rey had no idea how much control she had over the length of their encounters, just that in the past they’d gone on as long as they had liked or until someone interrupted them and pulled their focus. She still couldn’t see his surroundings but from his tone and approach, he must’ve been alone.

“Don’t do this to me,” she pleaded, tone soft, “don’t make me choose.”

Ben frowned, tone laced with betrayal but most of all hurt. “You’ve already chosen.”

“Then why come at all?”

“You were hurting.”

“Because of _you_.”

They were still standing with a whole room between them; neither had moved and Rey didn’t trust herself not to pull him into her arms if he got close enough.

“I can’t go back,” Ben reiterated, as if that would change her mind. When he spoke again, his voice took on the sharp pain of an injured animal. “I can’t forget, I can’t pretend like they want me to.”

“Your mother-”

“She has nothing to do with this.”

“Ben,” Rey would’ve laughed at his ignorance, if only it wasn’t so devastating. “You- you don’t need to be Supreme Leader.”

“What else would you have me do?” His tone was guarded but soft nonetheless, a hue away from worried. In response, all he seemed able to do was take a step closer, although he looked far from convinced.

Rey caught his gaze lingering on her lips and she remembered why she’d shipped herself to him: the hope that had flared in her chest after hearing the truth from Ben, confirmation from Luke, the truth that Ben Solo was nothing more than a scared boy trying to make his way in the world. He might’ve been the Supreme Leader, but for all his posturing, she knew what lay beneath. She had felt his hesitancy in touching her hand, had seen the way he was immediately drawn to her; he was far too open a book to be able to deceive her. He could have ulterior motives, but after Snoke, after learning about Luke, after everything, they were too obvious, too understandable. The worst thing about it all, about his selfishness in wanting to be Supreme Leader, was that he deserved it. After being told what to be all his life, Rey couldn’t look at him and tell him that he hadn’t earned the mantle.

“I would have you be you, or at least do something worthier of yourself.”

Ben released a sigh and she wondered how long he’d been holding it. “It’s too late for that.”

“Which one?”

“Rey-”

“Which one?” Her tone was the hardest it’d been since they’d started speaking and her gaze cut straight through him.

He moved a few steps closer and she could’ve reached out, grabbed at his tunic, pulled him down, into a hug, a kiss, something that would be enough to keep him there. Instead, Rey looked up, at his sad gaze, drying tears still staining her face.

Before Ben could speak again, there was a knock at the door of Rey’s small sleeping quarters on the Falcon and they both grimaced. She looked at him one last time before she shook her head and shut the bond; she had enough to worry about without letting her personal issues get in the way.

-

It was two weeks later, after hearing about the First Order and it’s new Supreme Leader going about it’s typical hunt for the Resistance, that their connection flared back up. Truth be told, Rey had anticipated it happening more often than it did in reality, but when she finally saw his face again, she had to stop herself from running to him. She had, on some level, been doing her best to block him, although she could always sense him in the back on her mind, poking and prodding when he could.

She was deep in a jungle on a planet whose name she barely could pronounce and was supposed to be collecting whatever fruits she could find. Instead, she couldn’t help but stop and stare at the man who materialized in front of her.

Ben didn’t look bad per se, but he looked far more haggard than when she’d last seen him, with exhaustion even more prevalent in his features. When he realized that they were connected, his gaze was a shade away from desperate as he looked her over. His clenched fists did, at least, relax as he moved to close the distance between them.

Rey moved as he did, stepping closer without hesitation. Once he was close enough, she threw her arms over his shoulders, grasping for whatever grip that she could. Her heart pounded in her chest and for a moment she wondered if he would kiss her, but instead he pressed his face into the crook of her neck. She nestled into his as well, taking a deep breath as his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Ben,” she breathed, at a loss for what she was feeling, what they were doing. After their last encounter she had thought that he wouldn’t want to talk to her, that he would be cold and distant in an attempt to make himself stronger. Despite his best efforts, he seemed as weak as ever.

The scent of his shampoo and whatever they used to wash his clothes filled her nose, reminding her of the fact that the Resistance had been on the run for the last few weeks. She’d barely had the chance to wash her clothes, but all her worries faded as his arms continued to support her.

Rey’s toes barely brushed the ground as he clung to her and his breaths were hot and heavy, as if he had just been running. Had he? If so, then he wouldn’t be safe connecting to her like they were.

“Ben,” she murmured more insistently, hesitantly bringing a hand against his temple, or where she guessed it was at least. She relished the comforting feeling of his embrace as long as she could, but still brushed her hand through his hair, trying not to get too caught up at being able to touch him again. “Are you okay?”

He tightened his embrace a fraction, breath warm against her neck. His voice was tired but not without a tinge of obstinacy. “Don’t ask me when you know the answer.”

Rey huffed against his neck. “Don’t make this worse than it is.”

He tensed for a moment before adjusting his grip as she felt his nose press against her neck and nestled herself closer to him.

Rey knew that they should’ve let go of one another, left it to a normal, comforting hug, but now it was too far, and she was too selfish to let go. Ben, at least, seemed to be content to support most of her weight.

An idea flashed across Rey’s mind and before she had the wherewithal to stop herself, she placed a gentle, terribly chaste kiss against his neck. The Supreme Leader, for his credit, didn’t drop to his knees. Instead, his arms locked around her again.

“Rey-”

“Can we meet up?” she interjected, gripping his shoulder and stilling her hand in his hair.

“We’re already here.”

Ben’s breath was warmer on Rey’s neck than it should have been, that she knew, but she said nothing about it. Instead she kissed a short line along his neck, curiously watching as she spied a blush flooding across what she could see of him.

Rey knew Ben, knew more now that he was Supreme Leader and finally in charge of his life, able to do what he liked. All he was missing from his dream of independence, she knew, was her. Sure, it would benefit for him to reconcile with his mother, for him to right his wrongs, for him to work on doing better. As much as she hated the circumstances separating them, she knew he was doing his best with the mess he’d landed in.

Despite it all, her heart twinged whenever she thought about him, it ached to talk to him like they had before, even if it had been so fleeting.

“I’m so tired of pretending that I don’t care,” Rey murmured against his neck, nestling back in as if she hadn’t just kissed him, twice. “Can we just-” she sighed and leaned into him, as much as she could, “meet up? Please.”

There was only the sound of their breaths and the jungle noises, the occasional rustle of the trees overhead. Ben finally spoke again, fingers digging into her sides; it was nearly painful.

“When?”

Rey went over the Resistance’s plans, weighing what she knew and what might come. “Three weeks, I have plans to make my way to Ilum then.”

“Do you know how to construct the saber?”

“I’ve read a few things.”

She wasn’t sure what she was doing or what her real plan was besides seeing him. When they were there, she would need his help to construct a new saber, advice from someone who had actually done it. Once they were around one another, however, Rey didn’t have much confidence in her ability to stop herself from running back into his arms. Besides that, she hoped that their meeting might change Ben’s mind, that he’d realize that he could choose his own fate by denying the organization that constantly caused pain and suffering.

Rey finally pulled away far enough to meet his gaze, resting her hand on the side of his face. The bags under his eyes, a side effect of his new position of power, no doubt, were only accentuated by the flush that crept up from his collar.

“Have you been sleeping?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Ben shook his head a fraction before his exhausted expression shifted into a concerned one. “Have you?”

Rey glanced away. “We’ve been busy, everyone’s been doing what they can. I’ve barely had time to talk with anyone about anything other than relocation.” Her gaze slipped back to him. “They don’t know what’s happened with us, _this_.”

“No one asked?”

“I’ve avoided going into detail.” He studied her for a moment before nodding. She quickly continued. “I’ve heard the propaganda going around that I killed Snoke. The Resistance thinks that I’m some kind of savior, that I killed him on my own, beat you down, when they should know the truth that you-”

“I only did it to save you.”

“It’s more than that and you know it, Ben.” Rey ran her thumb down the side of his face, studying his features before she frowned. Noises, of the jungle, of people shouting in the distance, friendly banter drawing closer, all filtered through, a reminder of the duty that she was supposed to be fulfilling. Her expression must’ve given it away because his own turned a shade petulant. She spoke quickly before he could protest. “We’ll meet up on Ilum, three weeks.”

“How will I find you?”

Rey toyed with the fabric at his shoulder with her left hand, gaze falling to his lips before she willed herself to focus. Her gaze met his and she gave a tiny, hopeful smile.

“Use the force.”

-

Three weeks later, true to her word, Rey stood near a Kyber mine. She was clad in a heavy cloak, lurking under the wind of the tie fighter that she’d taken. She’d had to maneuver her way out of having someone accompany her, had to insist that it was something that she had to do alone, that she wasn’t sure how long she would be, that everyone someplace better to be.

Truth be told, she knew it might take a few days, that she really would be wasting their time if someone had gone with her. That, and she knew that Ben, Kylo? would be hard-pressed not to kill the first Resistance member he saw on sight. Well, besides her.

In the time from their last connection to her arrival to the cold planet, Rey had worked to temper her hopes, to accept that whatever boy Luke had threatened was long gone. Despite everything, her fingers still itched for him again and her heart thudded when she even thought about seeing him.

Rey watched the snow slowly float down onto the icy ground, eventually closing her eyes and letting her senses stretch, attempting to do as she had been in the months of travel, sense the force. She’d been getting more adept at it, at sensing specific people and she was sure that once he was close enough, she would-

Her eyes snapped open and she realized that she’d connected them. Ben, well, the Supreme Leader sat as he piloted a ship of his own, something considerably larger than what Rey had arrived in. He was in the middle of responding to some communication – Rey couldn’t be sure exactly what he said – before his gaze snapped to her. It immediately softened before he frowned and looked back at his controls.

“Don’t contact me again,” he growled before flipping some switch and the other end went dead. When he looked at her again, he seemed at a loss for words.

“I’m here,” Rey started, pulling her cloak further around her. “You didn’t bring any stormtroopers?”

“No, I told them that I couldn’t have them interrupting my search for a new crystal.”

“Someone has to be following you.” They couldn’t have easily relented to allowing their Supreme Leader to run off on his own, that was for sure.

“I threatened to kill anyone who followed me.”

Rey grimaced but couldn’t deny its effectiveness; for both their sakes she hoped no one had followed him.

“How far away are you? I’m freezing.”

“Give me twenty minutes.”

“I’m near the southernmost stretch of caves,” the most remote from what she could determine, “you’ll see my TIE fighter and I’ll be inside by the time you get here.”

There was a brief pause as both seemed unsure as how to end it without being rude, although Rey posed one last question before she shut it.

“If you had to get a new crystal, what color would it be? This cave is supposed to have numerous colors; you could get whatever you wanted.”

Ben frowned and glanced at his dashboard, mind clearly churning despite his attempt to look distracted. “I’m not sure.”

It was the truth at least, she consoled herself. Rey nodded and soon his ship, its hum, the sight of his frowning expression, all faded away and she was left in the desolate alcove of Ilum. The sun was high in the sky and despite being hidden by countless clouds, left the planet feeling illuminated and stark.

She huffed and, equipped with her staff and the broken saber, headed for the entrance of the cave. The mouth of it was twice her height and she could barely touch either side when her arms were spread, but the jagged edges of rock and minerals made it more intimidating than it should have been.

Rey could make her way by the light streaming in from the entrance but quickly needed the glowrod that she’d packed. The green glow lit the path ahead and her ears strained for any signs of life, any threat that she had to be aware of. Finding that there was none after a few minutes of walking, she tried to relax, electing to enjoy the odd shapes of the minerals that surrounded her, embedded in the rock walls.

Rey had read up on what kyber crystals looked like, knew how to spot them, and she had learned that this cavern in particular was supposed to have a plethora of colors. On the Supremacy, when the crystal had shattered, she’d had no idea what she was going to do, if she was even going to try and recreate the saber that she’d wielded before.

Now, despite standing among the rocks and earth, she still was at a loss as to what color was appropriate for her, for the new generation of Jedi.

She refrained from wandering too far into the cave lest she somehow got lost; that and Ben was to join her shortly, walking that far in would do nothing to encourage his good will towards her. Rey paused in a relatively larger cavern, its ceiling stretched nearly three times her height and only the dimmest of the light allowed her to see it.

As she waited for him, Rey toyed with her staff, considering the practicalities of using it help hack out a crystal. She had brought a pick of sorts, something that would make the process easier, but she still enjoyed using her staff to get things done. Worst case scenario, she was certain she could get Ben to use his saber to carve part of the cave wall out.

After several minutes of standing around, Rey finally felt the force shift around her. She took a breath and turned around, spying Ben as he rounded the corner of the cave. He used his saber as a substitution for a glowrod and she tried to ignore the way that the red made the crystals, the stone, him, appear to be coated in blood.

When their eyes met, Rey froze, the reality of the situation sinking in. She couldn’t decide what to do, hug him, turn away, call it all off, kiss him? She instead opted for a small smile, taking a step closer. She was rewarded with a softening of his expression, his gaze trained on her, as always.

“Have any trouble?” Rey asked, the two meeting in the middle of the section of the cave. He lowered his saber although its crackling hum continued to fill the space, its blood red mixing with that of the green glowrod.

“No, we’re safe.”

She stared up at him, fingers itching to do something, and sensing his impatience, his want, she grabbed his hand as she had considered doing back on the Supremacy. Ben, to his credit, seemed surprised, blinking and looking down before firmly gripping her hand in agreement.

“Good,” Rey decided before turning and leading him further into the cave. She kept looking back at him, glad to finally have him back, for the time being at least, enough to pretend with.

They only managed to get a few steps into a new section of the caves, walls shining in the mix of scarlet and green light. They glanced along the walls, the way that the kyber crystals were illuminated before Ben spoke up, sounded surprised at himself for volunteering information.

“I did it for you, you know, all of it.”

Rey glanced up, a frown worrying the corner of her expression. She wanted to say something nice, something she knew would comfort him, but all she had was the truth and Rey knew that it wasn’t nearly enough.

“I know, Ben.” She squeezed his hand, trying not to let her feelings overwhelm her. “We give everything we have, we try, but sometimes it’s just not the right time. I wish-” she turned her gaze away, “what’s your favorite color?”

They knew one another’s secrets, the type that were life-defining, and yet she had no idea about the small things that he liked. Looking back at his clothing choices, she would guess that it was black, maybe grey, but perhaps he had a preference that wasn’t so obvious.

Ben took a moment before he spoke, voice quiet and hesitant.

“My favorite color, it used to be green.”

Rey’s thoughts went back to when Ben had told her his version of Luke’s story, when he told her of Luke standing over his bed, green saber in hand-

“And now?” she asked, pulling Ben closer, grip tightening.

He raised his saber from his side, turning it over in his hand briefly. “I don’t know. Red?”

“How unexpected.”

“And you?”

“Blue.” The answer came easily, delivered in a single breath.

They had stopped walking when Ben flexed his hand in hers, expression almost stern. “There are a lot of shades of blues, which one do you like?”

“Light blue, like after the sun breaks into the sky in the morning.” She started them walking again. “It’s the first thing that I’d see every morning when I went to start my day, back on Jakku.”

Looking from crystal to crystal, she spotted reds, greens, yellow, and indeed, a shade of the blue she’d been looking for. Near eye level one clump caught her eye, an asymmetrical group of nearly clear kyber crystals. They would have been forgettable if not for the white hue imbued in them, the clouded appearance they sported as an effect of that. She was drawn to it, pulling Ben along with her.

“Do you miss it?”

Rey frowned and stopped, the two of them a step away from her being able to further examine the crystals. She turned to look at him. The walls that she had put up for years, until they’d started talking, the walls that came up when she was working, helping the Resistance, fell as they locked gazes. He saw her for her, not for some hero, a perfect jedi, nor for a dirty girl on a trash planet. Rey was herself and it was enough.

“I miss what I used to think of Jakku, I miss that it used to be a comfort to think of it as home. Now whenever someone mentions it- now all I can think of is my parents, the years that I wasted there-”

“Rey,” Ben lifted the hand that held hers, bringing it up to the side of her face. She realized that she was tearing up, maybe crying? “You did what you had to do.”

For the briefest moment, Rey wanted to stop the tears, to fix the situation that she’d put them both in. To send him away, to pretend like everything was normal. In the dim light of her glowrod and his saber, however, she knew that they couldn’t reverse what had been done.

“They- they had no right to leave,” she leaned her face into his hand, shifted even closer. Ben’s saber’s light died, and they were left in a dim, green glow. “I was a child and they just wanted some drink? Who leaves their child alone in favor of what, having fun?”

“Parents are selfish.” His tone was something she recognized but took a moment to place, one from before the fights on the Supremacy, in the woods, no, it was from the interrogation, when he’d spoken about Han. Ben’s voice caught before he continued, hurt and raw. “To them a child’s concern is nothing to be considered, it’s to be ignored, discarded, just like them. They’re never to be listened to, thought about, or loved, not really, not when you look at what the parents actually do. When they left you, Rey, when they sold you, they were idiots, imbeciles who couldn’t bother to see past their own stupidity.”

Rey’s tears came more freely as the truth of his words echoed down to her bone, made her feel the pain that had threatened to rip her apart on the Supremacy when he’d forced her to see the truth about her parents.

“Why?” She asked. Her hand that wasn’t interlaced with his own gripped his tunic, fisting the thick material as best she could. “Why did they have me in the first place if they were just going to throw me away? I was nothing to them! Nothing! A no one from nobodies who were from nowhere and now- now I’m in the middle of a war I didn’t ask for! My friends are always on death’s door, but not because they have the option to to live their lives, they’re just trying not to die.”

“You’re not nothing,” Ben had placed his saber back on his belt, wrapping his now free arm around her. They both shook, Rey from the tears and Ben from his own thoughts, own problems, tears of his own that threatened to spill over.

“I can’t even have you because you’re off pretending.” She pressed herself up against him, face against his chest, hinting towards a move to the crook of his neck.

She wondered if she would ever be free, allowed to live her own life, stop waiting on people.

“All my life I’ve been on Jakku, waiting, hoping. Then Finn came along and there was something in my life, something new.” She tried to blink away the tears that kept coming. “Then there was you, easy, evil. And- and then, then we were connected. I knew your pain, and I came, Ben, I came to find you.”

“It’s not that simple.” Rey wondered how he could sound so sad despite himself being the cause of their pain. She knew it was wrapped up in pain, layers of complications, but she had wanted him so badly. They’d connected, in a way she never had before, he’d seen her pain, and now-

“I know.” She sniffed and freed her hand to wipe her face, try and salvage the situation that they’d landed themselves in. “But I’ve never chased after something like I’ve chased after you, never been so in control and so scared at the same time.”

She looked and found him stricken with an emotion she couldn’t place, pain? Fear? Something ate at him. Rey gave a small, sad smile and Ben spoke.

“I wish it was easier, I wish you could see.”

“No Sith, no Jedi, right?” She wanted to start crying, sob, preferably, but instead wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down, closer. She released his hand and hugged him fully, standing on the tips of her toes as best as she could manage. “Why can’t it just be me and you?”

His arms enveloped her, warm and comforting as her face nestled into the crook of his neck. It was only a moment before Ben committed and is arms tensed and Rey found herself being lifted, rather easily, by him. She wasn’t sure what to think, so instead she let out a soft sigh.

They stood there, wrapped up in one another’s embrace, comforted, before he heaved a sigh and set her down. He’d been crying too, she realized, but he quickly worked to wipe the evidence away. Rey just reached up and helped, letting her thumb run across his cheek as her palm rested against his cheek.

“Can you help me get my kyber crystal out of the wall?”

“You found one?” he sniffed and glanced away before meeting her gaze once again. She knew that he was still thinking, still trying to figure out a way to fix their situation, as hopeless as it was.

“I’m not sure, but it doesn’t hurt to have choices, especially about this, right?” Rey let her thumb move down and gingerly touch the corner of his lips, quickly retreating and pulling her hand away. Ben’s hands, however, were still situated on her sides, and they shifted to grip her hips. “How hard is it to remove the crystals from the rock?”

He tried to look as serious as he could, although his soft tone gave him away. “Did you bring anything to help get it out?”

“A pick and hammer?” She rested her hands atop of his, enjoying as he tightened his grip in response. Rey’d been trying to avoid thinking about him, this way at least, but it was getting harder and harder to deny that yes, she did want to kiss him, that she didn’t want him to move his hands. “At this rate we’re never going to get very far.”

“When are they expecting you back?”

“A few days.” She didn’t miss the pure excitement lurking in his gaze, but instead of engaging, she smiled and glanced away. “I’ll need it to form the saber, right? Or did the sacred Jedi texts lie to me?”

“You’ll have to imbue the crystal with the force, yes.” In that moment he sounded studious, almost, and she wondered exactly what kind of student he had been.

“Anything else I should know?”

“The more crystals you imbue with the force and put into the saber, the more energy and effort you’ll need when meditating with it. In my case, mine needed specific attention paid to it because it was cracked.”

“How did it get cracked?”

“I broke it on accident, almost ruined it- but it’s fine now.” Ben gave an almost petulant shrug before his tone turned the closest to truly prideful that she’d ever heard it. “There’s been nothing like it in the records as far as I can tell; it’s one of a kind.”

“Hmm.” Rey shifted, and he took the hint and released her hips. After a moment of silence, he pulled his saber from his side and held it between the two of them, going so far as to let her take it and turn it over in her hands. “Why the vents?”

“The crystal’s unstable without diverting the excess energy it gives off.”

“I see that someone didn’t slack on his studies; I never could find that much on Jedi from the holocrons I scavenged.” She handed the saber back and reluctantly turned to the crystal that she fully intended on getting out of the wall. “Maybe we can put your knowledge to work?”

“I didn’t mine my current crystal.” He stood beside her, the two facing down the frost kyber crystal. “It’s synthetic.”

That only raised more questions for Rey, but she forced herself to focus on the task at hand, to not get distracted by the way he would glance at her, his hands, lips-

“Here goes nothing, then.” She set her pack down and fished out the pick and hammer. She’d worked with machinery and robots before, even a slight bit of holo technology that she’d encountered, so mining a crystal seemed simple enough.

She placed the shiv where she thought appropriate and after lining up the hammer, slammed it down with as much force as she could muster. She hoped that at best it would wedge closer, that the process would be slow and that it would take her a few hits to get it free. As the hammer struck the shiv, the crystal exploded from its place solidly anchored in the rock wall and clattered onto floor unceremoniously. Rey knew that if Luke had been there, he would’ve just shaken his head and complained about her trying too hard.

She reached down and picked up the milky-white rock that she’d freed, examining it in the low, green light.

“I’ve never seen a white saber,” Ben spoke up.

Rey gave him a smile. “I think it might work, a new beginning, no allegiances but myself.”

“What about the Resistance?”

She faltered and clutched the crystal in hand. “I care about my friends and the lives of innocent people; that hasn’t changed.”

An awkward silence sat between them and she rubbed her face with the back of her hand holding the glowrod.

“It’s just meditating with the crystal for a few days,” Rey began, “channeling the force?”

“You can’t stop to eat or drink or anything, it’s just pure focus.”

“How bad is it?”

“The first time is the worst but it’s not impossible.”

“First time?”

“I constructed my first saber back- before my current one.”

Ben turned to face her better and she instinctively looked up, speaking before he could.

“Before I start it all,” Rey gave him a small smile which quietly blossomed into something new, something teasing but genuine- flirty. She reached up and rested her hands on either side of his face. “Can we…?”

He frowned for a long moment before she tipped her head and understanding flooded his expression.

“Oh,” Ben muttered, cheeks flushing with color. His hands latched onto her hips and he pulled her against him without a second thought.

Rey had waited ages to kiss him, despite not really knowing how to do it well. She knew the basics, had seen the rare romantic holo depict it. On Jakku romance wasn’t something that was seen in public, not often at least. Despite their circumstances, she relished the chances in which they could touch, hold hands, anything that she could get. As for kissing-

Their first kiss was far from graceful, although it wasn’t for lack of trying. Ben leant down and although their lips did meet, their noses bumped as Rey’s anticipation and his impatience got the better of them. She giggled, and he huffed at himself before Rey leant up, catching his lips in proper kiss.

Sliding her hand into his hair, she pulled him down to her level, melting into him.

He was warm and soft in ways that Rey hadn’t anticipated. She wasn’t sure what to do other than keep kissing him, deepening it when she found the drive. It was soon apparent, though, that they needed to breathe and it was Ben who pulled away first, albeit reluctantly. His grip had tightened on her, although it was fairly measured and when he blinked down at her, he seemed to be considering what to do next.

Rey gave him a smile, amused on one level by his disheveled appearance, and wholly pleased that she had finally gotten Ben where she wanted him.

“I’ve been waiting ages to do that, you know.”

Ben’s gaze remained trained on her lips, snapping up to meet her gaze as he spoke. He sounded slightly dazed.

“I’m glad you- we did, then.”

“This won’t be the last time, you know.” She leant up and stole a chaste kiss from him, although he leant closer, catching her lips in another sloppy series of kisses.

His arm wrapped around her waist and she threw an arm around his neck, the both of them working to stay as close together as they could.

Rey savored the way that his lips felt against hers, the way that his body pressed against hers; she found herself demanding more and more, despite her lack of finesse. Ben seemed unbothered by her relative lack of skill, although he seemed just as incompetent, although their fumblings quickly gave way to a rhythm that they both understood.

She deepened the kiss experimentally and he responded in kind, hungrily taking in all of the affection that he could at once.

He shifted and began to kiss down her neck, leaving warm, open-mouthed kisses that Rey-

“Ben,” her voice seemed oddly loud and her tone was disjointed from what they were in the middle of; it was serious, almost. It suddenly occurred to her that they were both panting.

He was fairly bent over, face against her neck as they stood close to the wall where she’d gotten the kyber crystal.

“Yes?” he breathed, sounding more confused than anything.

“I need to form my new saber.” Rey, despite being the one to stop them, didn’t sound any more thrilled at the interruption.

“Now?”

“Yeah.” She moved to take step away, and he pulled his face out from against her throat, slowly straightening up. He didn’t get very far before she stole another chaste kiss, a smile etched into her features.

He was still flushed as he released her, and they stood close, but separate, clearly still thinking about continuing.

“You don’t have to meditate here to make your saber.”

“I know this location is relatively secure, plus you’re here; I don’t need anywhere else.”

He pursed his lips before he nodded. “I can stay for a day at most and then I’ll have to leave.”

“So soon?”

Ben nodded, and Rey’s expression faltered as she was hit with the reality that he was still the Supreme Leader and would be trying to kill her friends once they parted.

She sighed and grabbed her pack on the floor that had sat abandoned for the last few minutes, finally fishing out the two halves of the broken saber.

Rey noticed the way that Ben regarded the weapon, the respect and odd tinge of sadness that was expressed in his gaze at his grandfather’s, now her, saber.

“I didn’t see it- when it all happened,” he murmured. “After you mentioned needing to make a new saber I realized that the explosion- that must’ve been it breaking.”

“I’ve been doing fine with just my staff but it’s useful and the General- she encouraged me to make one for myself when the time was right.”

He nodded and took a step away, looking towards the direction they’d entered in.

“I’ll keep an eye on the entrance for the first day and then I’ll be off.”

“Ben,” Rey frowned and moved closer, catching his left hand with hers as she stopped him. “We’ll meet again; we still have our connection.”

A combination of emotions which she couldn’t fully recognize flickered across his face.

“Rey, I-”

Whatever he had to say was lost as the ground beneath their feet shook. A series of explosions echoed through the caverns and finally reached them in a disjointed and haphazard fashion as pebbles shook loose from the ceiling. To Rey’s ears it sounded like someone had brought a ship, possibly several, down planet-side and were having a go at something- at them?

“Are you-”

Her question was cut off as more explosions resounded topside, rocking the earth that surrounded them. More pebbles fell and she heard rock fissuring, although she couldn't be sure if it came from deep in the cave system or from the surface below.

Ben reflexively lit his saber, twirling it once as they stared at the ceiling.

“The Resistance,” he muttered, earning a glare from Rey.

“I’m here, they wouldn’t kill me. It has to be someone else; The First Order.” He returned the glare.

She huffed and made sure that her chosen crystal was stored safely away in her pack, along with the broken saber.

The light from Ben’s saber reminded her of emergency lights that would flare in times of danger in ships, of her time with Han Solo on the-

“We need to get out of here before we’re completely buried alive,” Rey insisted, grabbing his hand and heading for the exit.

They took a few steps before more explosions thundered above, below, and through them. Ben fell first, flailing his saber away from the both of them as his weight and momentum pulled her down. Rey’s fingers clutched the black fabric that clung to his arm and they landed roughly on the ground. Rey, to her credit, avoided hitting her head on the floor, although she heard a thud and groan from Ben and quickly realized he wasn’t so lucky. His saber had gone out as well, although she couldn’t tell if it was by accident or on purpose.

“Ben-”

Her voice was drowned out by another round of cacophonous explosions and a large chunk of the ceiling fell in front of them. The path that led back to the entrance had collapsed in on itself and Rey shuddered with fear.

She tore her gaze away from the blocked exit and brought her attention back to the mess of the man who was lying on the ground. He groaned again, taking a moment before his hand found hers. He was still splayed out, trying to get his wits about him, but she was fairly sure that he was coherent.

“The exit,” Rey panted, trying to figure out exactly where they were supposed to go, “the rocks, we’re caved in.”

“And whoever’s trying to kill us, they’re going to be out there.” He heaved himself into a sitting position and she began to stand, wincing as her scraped hands moved against the rock floor. “Is there another one?”

“I don’t know, maybe?”

They stood hesitantly near the alcove which had formed from the now collapsed tunnel. Ben ignited his saber once more and Rey found her hand anchored in his, the both of them looking around.

His saber made the walls bleed once more and she couldn’t help but think that it was accurate, that they were suddenly doomed.

Moving closer to the collapsed tunnel she saw no light coming through and when she put her hand out, there was no air flow. Without speaking she tugged him the other way, deeper into the seemingly endless caverns.

“And the plan is?” Ben inquired, voice strained.

“We have to find something.” Rey was hardly convinced by her own voice and knew that he hardly was either. His brows were furrowed with a concentration she’d seen before, an expression that meant he was going to think until he had something to say.

As they moved through more sub-caverns she tried very hard not to think about their dwindling amount of oxygen, about how they’d have nowhere to go if they didn’t find something like there had been on Crait.

“Your saber,” she interrupted her own thoughts, “if we find a gap, we could just carve our way out.”

He continued to frown. “We could.”

“If we find one,” Rey continued his thought.

They wandered deeper into the mountain, into the planet, walls red tinged with a sickly tone of green. The layers that had been warm and comforting earlier now felt suffocating, restricting, damning. They’d get out, somehow, whether it they figured out some way to use the force together or by the off chance that they found a tunnel that led out.

She wasn’t sure how long they had been walking, perhaps twenty minutes, when Ben spoke up. His voice was tense but the line had clearly been mulled over countless number of times.

“Why did you shut me out for so long?”

Rey knew that they couldn’t go forever without touching on the topic of their bond, how he’d been probing for the months in between her moments of weakness, but now-

“I don’t know.”

She kept trudging ahead, pulling him deeper into the mountain. She knew that he was giving her a look, something akin to concern, she was sure.

“You actively blocked me.”

“Is this the best time, Ben?”

“You’re just pretending like you didn’t do anything when you were clearly-”

“Maybe I wanted time to myself!” She glared back at him, fingers tightening in his grip. She hadn’t meant for her voice to come out so forcefully, not really, but the threat of the ceiling caving in on them loomed at the forefront of her mind.

He said nothing and they continued to walk with the crunch of rubble and stone beneath their feet echoing throughout the stone prison. The cavern’s walls were occasionally flecked by minerals and the odd kyber crystal, although they all seemed to sing scarlet from Ben’s passing presence.

“I could always feel you there, anyway,” Rey sighed after they’d gone for minutes without speaking. “Sometimes even your emotions, they’d bleed over.”

“What did you feel?”

Rey’s answer was immediate. “Your loneliness.”

“That’s it?” He sounded more guarded although she had heard him far worse.

“You were sad, okay? And I was already sad and lonely, again, and I- it hurt to even think about you let alone see you. I was doing everything for everyone else, so I just wanted some space, even if it was just me and my own hurt.”

They’d stopped moving and Rey looked anywhere but at him, although from the corner of her eye she spied him staring, frowning, thinking, lurking. She knew that he hoped she’d continue to be weak, to succumb to the want for connection, the want for him.

They stood there, hands still linked, and she had no idea how they were going to escape being buried underneath the ice planet from hell.

“We need to get out of here,” she muttered, attempting to intone some sense of urgency but utterly failing.

“And how are supposed to do that, exactly?” Rey stopped herself from wincing at his harsh tone.

“We’re going to find something, a weakness in the walls, a crack in the earth, I don’t know.” Her gaze hardened and she stared him down. “We’re not going to die here.”

“So what if we do?”

“Are you even listening to yourself?”

“You obviously don’t care what happens to me.” His tone bordered on something fragile, expression wounded but not quite defeated.

“You know that’s not true.”

Rey released his hand and they stood there, the uneven hum of his saber filling the silence between them and signalling their impending doom.

“Do you know what it meant when I killed Snoke?” He suddenly asked, jumping into it like a starved beast on the hunt. “Have you thought about what any of what happened on the Supremacy meant at all? Or was it just your way of being the hero?”

There it was, the root of his pain, his suspicions, what seemed to be leading him to pick a fight in the middle of them trying to survive. Rey didn’t have it in her to be angry with him, not even surprised; she only felt pain.

Her suspicions about the invasiveness of Snoke’s power had slowly grown after she’d left Crait, after she’d travelled with the Resistance, with Leia, for months. She’d learned about Leia’s suspicions since before his birth, then pieced it together with what Luke had sensed when Ben was a Padawan. Even now it seemed surreal that Ben had done that for her, killed his master, someone who had been in his head for as long as he could remember. She hadn’t realized it at the moment, had dismissed it as him killing a mutual enemy, but it had been so much more.

“I know it hurt you,” Rey let her own pain, her own frustration seep into her voice. She took a half step, closing some of the space between them. “And I’m glad you did it, you saved me, but when it happened I had no idea what Snoke was other than something dangerous that controlled you.”

He looked less like a wounded animal and so she continued.

“I know you care about me, and of course I care about you, I’m here aren’t I? But I didn’t know! So, yes, thank you, you killed him for me, but now’s not the time to give that monster power over us, not now.”

A shuddering silence passed between them and Ben finally nodded and extended his hand out to her – Rey wondered if he knew how much it reminded her of the throne room – finally speaking.

“Thank you for coming,” he stated evenly, carefully.

Rey took his hand, lancing their fingers together once more. “It was my pleasure.”

Walking in silence seemed the easiest and so the pair moved quietly, her holding the glowrod up so that the initial path was clear before Ben would illuminate the rest with his saber. After winding through the tunnels for several minutes, they frowned as the path began to descend further into the planet.

“We’re going deeper,” Ben noted glumly, although trying to leave where the loud explosions came from was out of the question.

She knew that he was strong in the force, she’d heard from Poe how he had frozen a blaster bolt in the air, but she had no idea the number of blasters sure to be aimed at the entrance. Rey had entertained the idea of them turning back and using their combined abilities to push the rocks out of the way – if the entire tunnel hadn’t collapsed and it really was just that one section – and take down whoever was outside. That plan, however, quickly died in some corner of her mind when she thought about the injuries they would sustain in the process, how unlikely it was that only one part of the long, winding caverns had caved in, and the possibility of betrayal.

Who was out there, exactly, she couldn’t be sure, but Rey still wanted to believe that it was The First Order, that Ben’s, Kylo’s, his men had turned against him.

They descended deeper into the planet, unsure which direction they were headed. This disorienting experience wasn’t helped when they reached a fork in the tunnels.

Both paths appeared to head downward and when Rey held a finger up to sense the air flow, neither gave any indication of being the miraculous exit that they were searching for.

“Left or right?” she asked, half-heartedly attempting to feel the Force, sense something, do anything more than just guess.

“Which would you choose if I wasn’t here?” Ben asked.

She gave him a soft frown before considering the two paths.

“Left. If it had been made by someone, right, because people tend to favor that side, but since it’s natural…” Rey sighed loudly, releasing a fraction of the stress that she felt building. “It doesn’t really matter, though, not in this case.”

“Left it is.”

She continued to lead them, holding hands as always. Rey was hesitant to let go, the threat of another cave-in ever-present in her mind, and the pressure of his touch, the reassurance of his company, it was something she’d wanted since that night in the hut.

She couldn’t be sure how long they travelled in relative silence. The reassuring hum of Ben’s saber, the sound of their feet against stone, their breathing, it all gave Rey the sense of being somewhere unnatural, somewhere other. She’d never been underground, not like this, and as the minutes passed, she wanted more and more to be free of the stone coffin that they were ensconced in.

The floor of the tunnel began to lose its worn-down appearance and became more and more uneven, although it was not impossible to walk over. As they walked the walls seemed to shift as well, growing narrower, just wide enough for Ben to be able to walk through, although not comfortably. He had to hold his saber at an odd angle behind him while he held Rey’s hand in front. Occasionally the saber would skim some stone and the searing noise of plasma meeting rock echoed around them. At first Rey thought it an accident, but after more than a few times, she realized that he must’ve been getting bored.

She glanced back pointedly at his weapon, not slowing her pace. “Really? We’re most likely going to die down here and you’re ruining the walls?”

Ben looked unashamed, just giving a slow shrug.

“It’s noisy,” Rey pointed out, turning back to her dying glowrod that she held in front of her.

“You’d rather think about our oxygen running low?” he asked, sounding almost morose.

“We’re not dead yet.”

She kept moving forward and to his credit he stopped intentionally damaging the walls. Mostly, at least.

Hours passed, or at least Rey thought they did. She grew thirsty and hungry and from Ben’s increasingly agitated glares, she imagined that he was as well. He inquired once about her having any rations and she replied that she’d left them all on her ship, that she was going to grab them before properly starting on the saber.

The path finally opened into a clearing big enough for them to stand in and have their own space, although it did little to remove idea of another cave-in from her mind. Rey had stopped touching the walls for reassurance that they were still alive, instead trying to imagine that they were very much not underground and instead somewhere in space. She knew it wasn’t true, but pretending let her avoid the daunting and dangerous truth, even if it was just for a bit.

The two sat down next to one another, the path they’d entered on their right and the one that led deeper into the mountain, the planet, somewhere, to their left. Rey found herself resting her face against Ben’s arm as she continued to hold his hand, side pressed against his for warmth. They weren’t cold per se, but the warmth they’d worked up from walking and trekking through the caverns was barely enough to keep them anywhere near comfortable.

They sat there quietly, his legs spread out in front of him while she curled her legs in close, using her free hand to hold onto his arm as if he was a life preserver. Ben seemed to enjoy it, leaning into her touch and nearly resting his head on hers. His saber, still lit, sat to his right, their only real source of light; her glowrod was nearly dark, barely emitting a faint glow.

Rey knew that he had to be thinking about the inevitability of their situation, about how she was going to cause his death, something drastic like that, but all she could think about was the massive amount of rock on top of them.

“Did you know I hate space?” Rey murmured, right cheek pressed firmly against his left arm. “Sometimes, I mean.”

“Really?” She could tell from his tone of voice that he was frowning.

“I love to fly, that’s not it.” Rey struggled for the right words, looking around the scarlet walls. “It’s just- on Jakku, when I’d be waiting for my parents, all I could ever think about was them, out there, in space. It was easier than imagining them on the same planet that I was on, wasting away.” She felt his thumb run along the back of her hand and continued. “But space is big, enormous, that’s all anyone ever told me. I thought that maybe my parents got lost out there, among the stars, the planets, I don’t know. All I knew was that space had hundreds of millions of lightyears of emptiness, that between the stars there was nothing, and that was where my parents were. So I hated it, that great, wide, nothing where my parents were supposed to be.”

Ben shifted after a second of silence, withdrawing his arm from her grip, making her body shiver with loneliness, before he pulled her closer, both arms wrapping around her. Rey pressed herself close, her face against the warm crook of his neck, her arms curled between his warmth and her own. She pulled at the front of what was his top layer, blinking away tears as his chin rested atop her head.

She felt like she had to say something, explain it away, but she followed his lead and said nothing. She tried to think of what they were supposed to do, where they were supposed to go, who she was supposed to be, why he was there, what they were-

Rey found herself letting out shuddering breaths, hands close to shaking as Ben held her close, arms firm and solid.

“I don’t want to die here.” She thought her own voice pitiful, but he seemed not to care.

“Then we won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You always get what you want, Rey.”

She knew that she should leave it alone, let the warm moment stay, enjoy the instance of comfort that she could find. Instead, she spoke.

“I don’t have you.”

He fell silent and tightened his arms around her just a fraction.

“I can’t go back.” His voice was hoarse with everything that lay in front of them. “Not after all of this.”

“Your mother misses you, I miss you.”

“They’ll kill me.”

“Not if I tell them that you’ve turned.”

“You’ve been wrong about me before.” He sounded as if he was confessing a secret that he’d held for years, as if it wasn’t only months ago that they’d first met.

“Like I’ve told you, they don’t know about the throne room, about our connection.” Rey pulled back and blinked, taking in his strained expression in the blood-light. Half of his face was cast in darkness; his features were almost distorted. It didn’t feel real. “I don’t even have to lie, I’ll tell them that you killed Snoke for me.”

“Rey-”

“Your mother still cares about you, and if I told her the truth of what happened with Luke she could ensure that you stayed safe.”

“You think it would be that easy?”

“No,” Rey brought her hand up from between them, placing it against the dark side of his face, skin to skin as her palm cradled his cheek. She had an idea, a terrifying, horrible idea. “But we don’t have to go back, not right away.”

Ben’s gaze was dangerous; the man who hadn’t seen hope for years clearly didn’t wish to be toyed with.

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

“I can tell them the truth, that I had trouble finding the right crystal, that I was attacked but made it out. But I can take my time elsewhere, tell them I’m doing research.”

He stared at her and she could tell he was evaluating it all, trying to find some way to deny himself happiness.

“Ben, it’s a chance for us to be together, the First Order will think that you’re already dead but you’ll be with me,” she brought both of her hands to the sides of his face, entreating him to listen, to consider what she had to offer. “Please.”

She held her breath and he let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes.

“It won’t work,” he protested weakly.

“We just have to get off his planet without them seeing us. I know it’s probably them outside, but-”

“It has to be Hux,” Ben opened his eyes and looked away, as if he would see the man that instance. “He’s been vying for power ever since I met him and when you left, before I claimed the title, he wanted it for himself. He won’t be happy until he sees my head on a stake.”

“If we can get off this planet - stay with me. We don’t have to decide anything until later.”

“The Resistance will look for you.”

“I’ll stall them.”

“Forever?”

Rey wanted to kiss him, to pretend like they were fine, they were something with a label instead of the confusing mess that they were, and that they weren’t very much in danger of suffocating under an ice mountain. She forced herself to speak.

“If I had to.”

“For me?”

She smiled. “For you.”

Rey wasn’t sure who started kissing who, but before she knew it, her hands had found their way in his hair, running over his shoulders, and she was half supported by his arms. Ben kissed her softly at first, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening, before she tugged at him and he seemed aware of what he could indeed do. Still sitting on the floor, he pulled her into his lap and kissed her in earnest.

They found themselves a mess, hesitant hands exploring what they could, considering the layers that they were still dressed in, and beating hearts that pulsed erratically. Rey didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to leave his arms, to stop his kisses, it took a loud series of booms for them to pull apart.

The explosions, this time, sounded farther away, as if they were higher up in altitude. It caused everything to shake as it had before, but it was distant, almost less imminent a danger. That of course, Rey knew, was from their descent into the planet, but still, the way the explosion echoed around them was odd, different than it had been before.

The pair didn’t speak as they pulled apart and stood, reminded of the grim reality of their situation, instead they both seemed to look around as if that would accomplish anything.

Rey tried reaching out with the Force, the way that Luke had taught her, closing her eyes as she tried to stretch herself out to encompass the whole of the series of passageways. She’d tried in passing, when they’d been walking, and there had been a moment when Ben had tried as well, but nothing had come from it. This time, however, there was something new, something she hadn’t expected. Her heart raced and she tried to keep her breathing steady; something must’ve gotten knocked loose.

“Ben,” she looked back at him and he quickly turned from where he’d been trying to investigate.

“Air,” he finished her unfinished thought.

In a flash he grabbed her hand and led the way, saber in hand as he lit the path ahead. They hurriedly made their way down the rocky, uneven path of the tunnels.

His saber occasionally glanced off the walls, causing sparks to fall on them but he continued still. They said nothing, frantically running and avoiding sharp edges as the avoided losing their footing. The tunnel slowly got narrower, but they didn’t slow; the more that they kept going, the stronger that the scent of fresh air became and the colder it became.

She wanted to cry with joy as it kept getting stronger and stronger, when finally, as the tunnel was nearly too tight for Ben to be able to walk sideways through, she saw it.

There was snow in front of them, it covered various boulders, but it didn’t look impossible, it was only slightly bigger than the pile of rubble that Rey had lifted on Crait.

The anticipation of being free kept Rey on edge as she met Ben’s knowing gaze. They didn’t say anything, instead, he extinguished his saber and they focused on the rocks in front of them.

Rey wasn’t sure if it was the thrill of having Ben at her side, helping her lift, the training that she’d been working on since joining back with the Resistance, or a combination of both, but they managed to clear the rocks. She was still behind him as they faced the exit, but she slipped past him at his request. The gap, or fissure, really, that had been created by the explosions was only wide enough for her to get through.

She gave Ben a soft look, triumphant in the chance escape, and turned to quickly wriggle her way into the fresh air and snow. She took a few steps out and was hit by Ilum’s freezing winds and snow but let out a huff of laughter nonetheless; they weren’t dead and they still had a chance.

It was still overcast but she could tell that the planet’s sun hadn’t set yet; it looked as if nothing much happened. Rey craned her neck and was relieved at the apparent absence of First Order ships or vehicles. She turned back to the crack when she heard Ben’s saber ignite.

Rey watched as the red blade slowly cut through the layers of rock. Kylo pushed with the force and managed to chip the rest away. Hair a mess and his outerwear dusty, he didn’t look too worse for wear. Blinking against the bright light, they stood in silence. They were out of immediate danger of suffocation, the planet lay before them, and although they were being hunted, that wasn’t new. They were at the bottom of a snowy crater, having journeyed deep below the initial cave entrance, and the expanse of the massive crater lay before them.

After a few moments, he took her hand, warm and solid, gaze trained where the sun would’ve been if not for the clouds. Rey looked at him and watched as snowflakes landed in his disheveled hair. Her breath caught in her throat when he spoke. His voice was full of a softness that she never thought she’d hear again.

“I’ll do it.”

Rey blinked away a snowflake that landed on her lashes.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He looked down, met her gaze, and nodded. It was small and betrayed his exhaustion at everything.

She started to tear up, almost forgetting that her hand was already in his. He was hers, hers, hers, and they could be together, even if it wasn’t forever. Rey had never asked for forever and she wasn’t sure what it would bring, but he was hers for now.  

“We need to get off this planet, first,” Ben reminded her.

Then, inexplicably, she laughed. She knew it was out of place, that they had to be serious, consider what their plan was to get off Ilum safely. Somehow her laughter only caused him to move closer, for his gaze to fall to her lips. She managed one syllable, his name, amidst her laughter. She barely managed to get it out once she realized what he was going to do, and it stood as a weak protest before she leant up to meet him. 

Rey threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down, snowy hair and all, leaning all of her weight into him. She managed to quell her laughter, but then he went in for a second kiss, he wrapped his arms around her, completely picking her up in the process. The situation too absurd for her, she couldn’t hold back any longer and giggles spilled freely from her lips onto his. She kissed his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and then lips again when he was sufficiently flushed from embarrassment.

“Ben,” she said his name when they parted, snow still falling around them. Rey couldn’t help herself, saying his name felt like vindication, like freedom, and now, like something else. It was new, hers, and she wasn’t about to let him go, no matter the armies that came between them. “Ben, Ben, Ben.”

He feigned a teasing grimace, “Yes, Rey?”

“I think I’m going to die.”

“Maybe, if we don’t get out of here.” He squeezed Rey, lifting her just a fraction before continuing to solidly hold her. “It’ll be you, me, and that great, wide nothing.”

Rey laughed again and kissed him, warm and content as long as he supported her. Their lives might’ve been a web of mistakes, wars, and half-truths, but they had each other, they finally had each other.

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me on tumblr @ vvhenan as well as my lovely and amazing betas at @ rllysleepygirl and @ dvrksister !!


End file.
